I have been fighting with my hair most of my life. This year, I decided to finally start embracing my curly hair. As a tiny human, I had fine, stick straight hair. You know how it goes; people with straight hair want curly hair and vice versa. In third grade, my dad let me get a perm at JC Penny. (My mom was thrilled, as you can probably imagine.) It wasn’t until years -YEARS! – later that I realized the perm was long gone and my hair, at some point, had become naturally curly.
It wasn’t until this year – I am 42 – that I started to learn how to treat my hair like curly hair. Up until that point, I ran the gamut of blowdrying / burning it straight (and of course then adding “beachy” waves with more heat), getting keratin treatments, braiding / twisting it while it dried to keep it from turning into a total frizzy mess, and trying every shampoo and conditioner on the planet. I was hopeful that the perfect product or hair cut existed to give me wash and wear hair.
I have never had anything against curly hair, in fact I have always loved it on other people. I always just assumed that I didn’t have Good Curly Hair. I mean, if I simply wash it and let it air dry, I absolutely do not have Good Curly Hair.
Here’s an example of just how bad my hair can be; this is after a couple of weeks in mineral hot springs in Costa Rica:
While scrolling Facebook this summer, I saw an ad for a curly hair product that made me realize – HOLD UP. I just haven’t been treating my hair like curly hair. That was my big curly hair aha moment. And that’s when I fell deep into the curly girl method rabbit hole.
It’s been 3 months of researching and experimenting with the Curly Girl method and variations of it, and I’m finally coming up for air. I’ve been sharing my progress on Instagram, and people on there have expressed interest in what I’m doing and what I’m using, so I’m spilling it all on this here blog post.
Here I am after my first wash day, using (sort of) the curly girl method:
And here I am after wash day number two; already a pretty big difference:
Getting a curly cut made the biggest difference. Curls need layers and shape. Going to a curly hair specialist resulted in the cut my hair really needed:
This blog post is not intended to be a rabbit hole, so I’ll sum up the Curly Girl Method for you.
What to avoid on the Curly Girl Method:
- shampoo
- heat styling
- brushing your hair (especially when dry)
- terry cloth towels
- sulfates, parabens, and silicones.
What I think about all of that:
I can easily get behind eliminating certain ingredients. No problem there. I’m happy to use a micorfiber towel and t-shirt instead of a terry cloth towel to get the excess moisture out of my hair. And if brushing my hair when it’s dry is only causing damage, that’s not something I’ll miss. On those elements, I’m all about the Curly Girl Method.
As far as shampoo goes, I haven’t found any cowash (cleansing conditioner) that I like. Low lather? Sure. No lather? Nah. I need a little lather for my scalp to feel clean.
I haven’t plugged in my flat iron or barrel roller for months, and I feel great about that. However, using zero heat to dry my hair means my hair is wet for hours; we’re basically talking all freaking day. That’s just not practical. My hair dryer has a cold, warm and hot setting. I use it on warm until it’s mostly dry and then switch to cold to finish it. My curly hair specialist stylist gave me the okay on this, btw. She uses heat to dry in her salon, and just advised against using flat iron level heat. If you can smell your hair burning, that is way too hot.
What I have found over the course of 3 months – my big takeaways:
- Technique is as important, maybe even more important than, the products.
- There is as much dogma in the curly hair world as there is in the food world. (Hard pass on both)
- It is a process. Do not expect your hair to be magically changed after one wash day. My hair has continued to get curlier (and healthier) week after week.
- In the epic battle against frizz, I’ve found the things that have helped the most are: using a moisturizing shampoo, and applying leave-in conditioner.
- Products are necessary. I was so low maintenance once upon a time, and those days are over.
- Curly hair needs moisture, and products all need to be applied to wet hair.
- Using less heat means longer dry time. A microfiber towel was one of the best purchases I made, it cuts my dry time in about half!
What has worked on my curly hair – technique:
My wash day routine (every 3rd day or so, based on how my scalp feels and how my hair looks) to cleanse: I shampoo using a low lather, moisturizing shampoo, and then condition- I apply plenty of conditioner, both raking it in and squishing it in – Squish to Condish- it’s a thing. This is when I detangle, using my fingers and sometimes a wide toothed comb. I leave the conditioner in for a few minutes (singing optional) and then rinse with warm (cool is good too, but not hot) water.
To style: Still in the shower, I gently scrunch out a little but of the moisture, but not much, and then apply leave-in conditioner, and detangle again. For the following steps, I do most of it flipped over, with my hair hanging off the top of my head: I apply a defining cream, which I rake in gently for even distribution, and then glaze in (between flat hands, like you’re putting them together in prayer, if you will, and/or use a curly hair brush like this one to clump my curls. Then I scrunch. Then I apply a gel also using the praying hands method, and then scrunch. And then, if I haven’t fallen in the slippery shower and knocked myself unconscious by this point, I use the microfiber towel to squeeze out the excess moisture. And then – can you even believe – I scrunch in a wee bit more gel. Isn’t it funny that going natural is way more work than burning the shit out of it was? Hilarious.
Finally, I plop with an old t-shirt. I would not do a great job explaining how to plop, so the google is your friend in this situation.
I leave the plop on for 20-30 minutes, and then I take it off and do a combo of air drying and diffusing on medium and low heat. It doesn’t matter what kind of hair dryer and diffuser you have, but make sure you know how to use it. I realized after watching this video that I was doing it all wrong. Once you’re there, feel free to go ahead and watch all Mel’s videos, she’s hilarious and they’re super informative.
Searching for curly hair videos on Youtube? You’ll easily fall into the Curly Girl rabbit hole. Bring snacks.
Before and after in one photo- wild right? My curly side is looking a little lower, which is disturbing, but you get the idea:
What has (and hasn’t) worked on my curly hair – products:
I’ve tried a bunch of curly hair products, and will probably continue to try more if they look promising. I am aware that my hair will continue to change and get healthier, so the first products I tried might “work better” now than they did when I was new to the curly hair thing. Keeping that in mind, I’ll rotate them all and try ones I wasn’t sure about originally.
My consistent favorites so far have been from Bouncecurl. I use the moisturizing shampoo (on most days), clarifying shampoo (once every few weeks), the cream conditioner, leave-in conditioner, clump and define cream, and cream gel.
The first curly products I tried were from LUS, which I liked at first, but didn’t love after a few washes. The shampoo is on the clarifying side (more lather, less moisturizing) and the 3-in-1 third step isn’t quite enough for my hair. The scent is also not my favorite.
I was excited to try the line from Raw Curls, since it is probably the cleanest line of products I’ve come across so far. I love their gels and their anti-frizz spray, but haven’t loved their shampoo and conditioner. Like I mentioned above, I will try them again now that my hair has changed quite a bit!
Most recently, I used the softening 4 step system from Curl Mix. It definitely made my hair softer, but I didn’t get quite as much definition as I have with the Bouncecurl and Raw Curls stylers.
On my list to try: Innersense and Rahua, but this shit is getting expensive so I might stick with Bouncecurl for a while since I know it works!
Here is my most recent hair, about 3 months in of treating my hair like curly hair!
As I mentioned, this is a process, so I will continue to update you with my favorite new products and techniques I like for my curly hair! Do you have favorite curly products you think I should try? Let me know in the comments.
More non-food girly shit can be found here and here.
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Juie says
Time to update your pic on the blog curly queen!
zenbelly says
I know right? New kitchen, new hair, no money! hah!
Kelly says
What about days you don’t shampoo? Get it wet in the shower? Brush it out? Reapply anything?
zenbelly says
I never ever brush when it’s dry, and I’ve never washed my hair every day. Sometimes I give it a little spritz with water, sometimes I use the anti-frizz spray from Raw Curls. I don’t do much, and often have a high pony situation by the third day. There are definitely people who have mastered the refresh, but I have not!
Jillian says
My hair is super wavy and fine so I’m in a constant battle of how much product is too much product? Currently, I like The Ouai air dry foam and I also like deva curl’s wave maker.
I also Want to try Rahua but the price tag… sheesh….
zenbelly says
It definitely requires some trial and error! I tried to go super light on product just to see, and it didn’t go so well haha. And yeah Rahua is pricey, but people who love it really love it!
Nicole says
These last pics are my favorite curly pics of your hair yet! It looks really great! I’m also a big fan of the Bouncecurl Light Cream Gel and the Clarifying Shampoo.
I bought trial sizes of Innersense and ended up splurging on the full sizes of several products. I bought the trial sizes from another green beauty website so I could save the first time customer discount on their website for the full sizes. It’s true their products behave a little differently than others, so there’s a learning curve. I quite like the I Create Hold gel as a single styler (although sometimes I cheat and use a few spritzes of the Finish hairspray right before diffusing when I want to cheat and use drying alcohol).
I’d recommend Giovanni — their products are so affordable and are some of my favorites. I especially love the 50:50 Balanced shampoo and conditioner. (I find that conditioner has more slip than the Deeper Moisture Silk one.) Also the Turbo Charged mousse/foam, and the Direct Leave-in (super light). They have a great selection of trial sizes on their website, and they shipped quickly. (But otherwise you can find them at WF or more cheaply on Vitacost.)
I also just tried and liked the Design Essentials Almond & Avocado Mousse (it has two water-soluble silicones, FYI, has a strongish scent, and is mid-priced at Ulta).
Sorry for the long comment – I’ve been rediscovering my curly hair lately too, if you couldn’t have guessed!
zenbelly says
Awesome thanks! I need to try Giovanni for sure, their stuff seems really reasonably priced, and this situation is getting expensive!
Linda Allasia says
Your hair looks fabulous!! I wonder if Carolyn knows about this?
zenbelly says
Thank you! I’m not sure, she has gorgeous hair!
Emma says
My hair also turned curly after 2 perms in the 80s! I recently discovered salt spray – that seems to make a difference too.
zenbelly says
Oh interesting! I always figured salt spray would be bad for my hair since gong to the beach makes me look like a crazy person haha. I’ll have to try it!
Elise says
You’re curly hair is looking beautiful!
I’m a fan of Jessicurl styling products. They work great and they’re available unscented.
zenbelly says
Awesome, I will check them out! Thanks!
Wendy says
Your hair looks beautiful! I’ve been using innersense for about 6 weeks now and am happy with it so far. It was definitely an adjustment from conventional salon stuff. I use their color radiance hair bath and sweet spirit leave in conditioner. I found the regular conditioner to be too heavy for my hair, which was so different from other products. For styling, I use the I create volume foam and that’s it!
zenbelly says
Thank you! I really want to try Innersense stuff.
Mel says
Thanks for sharing this! So helpful and I need to try the bouncecurl products. Most of the curly hair shampoos (currently using Devacurl) make my hair feel greasy after 2 days so I rotate between them and the conventional shampoos (I use Alterna). How do you sleep so that your hair wakes up with defined curls? I find that my curls become a frizzy bomb when I wake up, forcing me to deal with it by tying it up. Love this post!!!
zenbelly says
Glad it was helpful! I sleep with my hair in a pineapple, aka super high pony. Second day hair definitely isn’t as good as first day hair, but it’s not bad.
krista says
Silk scarf! Keeps hair nice and smooth so all you have to do is refresh. A little flat but no frizz.
Elizabeth says
I am pretty sure my return the the curls started shortly before yours and it’s such a process! I use deva curl because they have so many travel sizes and easier to find what works! Definitely considering the bounce curl though, I’ve heard great things from lots of YouTube strangers in the black hole of curly hair videos! My refresh day pretty much means take it out of the pineapple and spray it down with mister water bottle to reactivate all the product and let air dry again! I can go 3 days with hair down and then last day is pony for sure! Thanks for the tips!!
Angel_n_Alabama says
I love it! You look beautiful!
zenbelly says
Thanks so much!
Katie says
Inner sense is the best. I have Rahua Hydration and I’m going to ask my straight haired daughter to use it up because Innersense is the best. Pricey, but it lasts a long time!
zenbelly says
I definitely need to try it!
Wendy Fleisher says
My daughter follows you on Instagram and sent me this post because I recently decided to embrace my natural curls. Your post gives me hope and I think your hair looks amazing! I’m about 3 months into my transition and have admittedly fallen into the Curly Girl rabbit hole! Although pricey, I do love New Wash from Hairstory for cowashing. My hair feels clean and the product has a bit of slip to it. My hair is not long enough for the pineapple method, and I’ve discovered medusa clipping to be a great alternative. Not pretty, but very effective. Any chance you can share the name of curly hair specialist who cut your hair?
zenbelly says
I’m so glad your daughter sent you my way! I went to Ivy at Hair of The Gods in Hayes Valley. I love her.
Katie says
Your curly hair is gorgeous!!!
I’m so excited that you are embracing and honoring your natural hair. I’m a curly girl too and I feel like curls have some much personality- it’s like they are an accessory. I’ve been using Innersence products for a while and would highly recommend them. Pricey, yes, but green, clean and they deliver results.
zenbelly says
Thank you! I definitely need to try Innersense, I’ve heard such great things about it.
Crystal says
I love it!! I finally had some curls coming back after babies and a friend of ours was a curly hair stylist god so he gave me a curly cut and conditioner tricks. Then his funeral was on my next hair appointment day so it all makes me sad still. He was the sweetest dude too. Anywho I love watching you embrace your curls, especially since I’ve always thought our hair was so similar
EricaD says
I was looking for new products for my aging dry hair. I came across this your blog via Facebook. I ordered Bounce Curl shampoos, conditioner and leave in conditioner. Plus watched a few of their tutorial videos. Oh my! My gray curls returned after first wash!! Plus I changed the way I treated my hair after washing, letting it stay drippy wet & then add product. Not only do I use smaller amounts of shampoo & conditioner on my hair, but Bounce Curl smells wonderful. And I only have to wash my hair twice a week. Thank you for sharing your curly hair journey!!! 🙂
zenbelly says
I’m so glad to hear that, Erica! <3
monique says
thanks to this post. i ordered bounce curl and have been using it for about a month. i love it. i wish i’d discovered it years ago… or before i chopped my curls short!! lol needless to say i’m growing it out with luscious curls!
i have battled these curls for all of my 50 years. now is as good a time as any to embrace them. so again thank you!!
zenbelly says
yay I’m so glad! Sometimes a big chop is the best thing, so your curls can grow in new and fresh. Here’s to luscious curls! <3
Baron Kanter says
What do you do with all the product leftover after trying them? It seems that alone would get overwhelming.
zenbelly says
it’s mostly in my bathroom still, some I’ve given to friends, and I have been meaning to find a place to donate it.
Marlee says
I am so relieved to find this post. It is refreshing to have finally found an honest review that is straight to the point. I can completely identify! I actually read it right before I tried CurlMix. I feel the same; I obtained the softness but had given up big bouncy curls. No thanks! I’d rather have frizz all day (I actually love my frizz). I am about to get both Innersense and BounceCurl in the mail.
My story: I quit DevaCurl in February after women came out with their stories. I quit and noticed my breakage, scalp itch, and dandruff stop within 2 weeks. My hair is now more beautiful with nothing used than on DevaCurl.
I now use a scalp massager, castor oil/sunflower oil before a wash, apple cider vinegar to rinse once a week, and a silk pillowcase. I can’t believe I ignored my scalp for so long! It is so important.
I now use:
Wellnesse shampoo (awesome ingredients, maybe too much lather)
Kinky Curly shampoo (low lather, minimal ingredients)
Wellnesse conditioner (like but don’t love)
Kinky Curly leave-in conditioner (THE BEST)
I can’t believe how amazing Kinky Curly leave-in works in my 3a-3b hair. How can this be 8 bucks? The only difference I see is their added marshmallow root. Maybe this is the key!
Can’t wait to try Bounce Curl and Innersense! I will update you. Also, what kind of blow dryer and diffuser do you use? I am considering the expense of a dyson. Thank you for your raw information!
KaZ Cruse Akers says
Absolutely love the fringe! Yours looks wonderful. I am trying to coax mine in that direction. Sometimes they just twist whichever way they like. I have more wavy hair in the front and very curly hair in the back and I am someone who does not like to fuss too much to get it all to be uniform. So I am experimenting. Thanks for the wonderful post.
Mia says
Well what you describe as a bad hair is GORGEOUS! I would like that.